Police Blotter of the Day: Suspect says that’s not my pot — it was already in the car when I stole it

Douglas Glidden (Androscoggin County Jail via Sun Journal)

LIVERMORE FALLS — Police said a Jay man was adamant that the marijuana police found in the car he was driving was not his because he had just stolen the car.

Full story (Franklin, Maine, Sun Journal)

Of COURSE It’s Florida: Topless thong-clad woman vandalizes McDonald’s

Of COURSE there’s video. (Pinellas Park, Fla., police via WFLA-TV)

Topless thong-clad woman vandalizes Pinellas Park McDonald’s

A Pinellas Park woman shown topless and wearing a thong as she vandalizes a Pinellas Park McDonald’s was arrested for criminal mischief.

Full story (WFLA-TV)

Police Blotter of the Day: Utah woman tries to commit arson using bacon, police say

(Uintah County, Utah, Sheriff’s Office)

NAPLES, Uintah County — A Uintah County woman is accused of trying to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s home with a pound of bacon left burning on a gas stove.

And here’s the best part:

Cameo Adawn Crispi, 31, was charged Wednesday in 8th District Court with arson, a third-degree felony.

Yes. Crispi. According to police, it was a Crispi bacon attack.

Full story (KSL-TV of Salt Lake City)

Police Blotter of the Day: Man missing three days found naked in electric transformer box

Bryan Hulse, 29, of Houma, La., was reported missing Sunday. (WLOX-TV)

Bass said the investigation revealed the 5-foot-3, 200-pound Hulse was aware of the search and had been hiding for several days in a breaker-control cabinet at the substation, which is surrounded by a metal fence topped with barbed wire. …

Bass said Hulse has been charged with possession of a controlled substance and is in custody pending a bond hearing.

Full story (Biloxi, Miss., Sun-Herald)

OF COURSE it’s Florida: Zoning board member gives Nazi salute at planning meeting

(Screenshot by Palm Beach Post)

Marcia Radosevich gave the Nazi dictator’s one-armed salute and said “Heil Hitler” while the board was discussing the powers of village staff members during the monthly Planning, Zoning & Adjustment Board meeting March 5.

Full story (Palm Beach Post)

Police Blotter of the Day: Angry cross-dresser attacks car with chunks of concrete

Of course it’s Florida.

Orlando police are looking for a man last seen dressed in women’s clothing and a wig for allegedly throwing concrete at cars on Tuesday.

According to police, one of the victims, a 21-year-old woman, saw the man while she was stopped at the intersection of Orange Blossom Trail and Amelia Street.

The man, who was dressed in a blue dress, black heels and a wig, saw her looking, became angry and threw a drink at her car, police said.

Full story (WESH-TV of Orlando)

Police Blotter of the Day: Suspect eats hundreds of dollars in cash

Leosvel Cordova Parrado (Monroe County Sheriff’s Office)

In — where else? — Florida:

The victim told deputies they were at a party earlier and Parrado became angry and demanded they return home. She said once they were at home, he pushed her around in their residence and the two of them struggled over her wallet, which he took from her by force. The wallet contained $750 in cash. …

Parrado was handcuffed and placed in a patrol car. As Sgt. Slough was driving to the detention center in Marathon, he heard a strange noise in the back of his car. When he looked in his rearview mirror, he saw Parrado with his mouth full of cash. He was literally chewing — and choking on — the cash he had stolen from his girlfriend.

Sgt. Slough pulled over and attempted to recover the money Parrado was eating, but when he counted the remaining cash he found $277 missing from the whole amount the girlfriend said he stole. Some of the money was found in his underwear and deputies think that is where he hid it prior to eating it.

Full police statement.

And sometimes you do a story just for the headline

An 18-year-old Florida woman was only slightly injured when she was shot by her friend’s oven, police said.

Yes. An oven. She was trying to cook waffles and didn’t know her friend was storing ammunition in the oven. So we got to write this totally straightforward headline:

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Full story at NBC News

Life on general assignment

In the new world at NBC News, I’m now doing general assignment after many years covering various beats. That yields a certain variety to one’s work week.

At 1 o’clock this morning, I was hunched over a spreadsheet calculating word-frequency counts for President Obama’s State of the Union address. Ten hours later, I was writing this:

One of the busiest interstates in the U.S. remained closed Wednesday, hours after a semi-trailer transporting French vanilla coffee creamer overturned in Phoenix, coating more than 150 feet of the highway with a white slick of delicious-smelling traffic hazard.

You never know what life on GA will bring next.

Grab your coffee mug: French vanilla creamer closes busy Arizona interstate (NBC News)

Sometimes, you do a story just for the picture

(Jody Taylor/Sixty5 Media via NBC San Diego)

Driver stuck in midair after car rams California clinic (NBC News)