Police Blotter of the Day: Suspect says that’s not my pot — it was already in the car when I stole it

Douglas Glidden (Androscoggin County Jail via Sun Journal)

LIVERMORE FALLS — Police said a Jay man was adamant that the marijuana police found in the car he was driving was not his because he had just stolen the car.

Full story (Franklin, Maine, Sun Journal)

Of COURSE It’s Florida: Topless thong-clad woman vandalizes McDonald’s

Of COURSE there’s video. (Pinellas Park, Fla., police via WFLA-TV)

Topless thong-clad woman vandalizes Pinellas Park McDonald’s

A Pinellas Park woman shown topless and wearing a thong as she vandalizes a Pinellas Park McDonald’s was arrested for criminal mischief.

Full story (WFLA-TV)

Police Blotter of the Day: Utah woman tries to commit arson using bacon, police say

(Uintah County, Utah, Sheriff’s Office)

NAPLES, Uintah County — A Uintah County woman is accused of trying to set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s home with a pound of bacon left burning on a gas stove.

And here’s the best part:

Cameo Adawn Crispi, 31, was charged Wednesday in 8th District Court with arson, a third-degree felony.

Yes. Crispi. According to police, it was a Crispi bacon attack.

Full story (KSL-TV of Salt Lake City)

Police Blotter of the Day: Deputies: Girlfriend struck with anger management book

Spartanburg County deputies have arrested a man who they say hit his girlfriend with a workbook from his anger management class during an argument, and she cut his arm with a boxcutter.

Full story (Spartanburg, S.C., Herald-Journal)

Police Blotter of the Day: New Orleans police officer arrested after leading police officers on high-speed chase

(New Orleans Police Department via WDSU)

Detectives said Miller sped off in his truck and led the officer on a high-speed chase.

During the chase Miller ran a stop sign, drove through a red light, drove at speeds near 90 miles per hour and committed other traffic violations.

Full story (WDSU-TV)

Police Blotter of the Day: Man missing three days found naked in electric transformer box

Bryan Hulse, 29, of Houma, La., was reported missing Sunday. (WLOX-TV)

Bass said the investigation revealed the 5-foot-3, 200-pound Hulse was aware of the search and had been hiding for several days in a breaker-control cabinet at the substation, which is surrounded by a metal fence topped with barbed wire. …

Bass said Hulse has been charged with possession of a controlled substance and is in custody pending a bond hearing.

Full story (Biloxi, Miss., Sun-Herald)

Police Blotter of the Day: Police seek Amish buggy in hit and run

Troopers from the Mercer barracks say the buggy twice hit a passenger vehicle at a crossroads on Route 158 in Wilmington Township, about 6 p.m. Sunday.

The buggy then left the scene and its driver has yet to be identified.

Full story (AP via WPXI-TV of Pittsburgh)

Police Blotter of the Day: Woman allegedly drives through church, stabs husband on altar for ‘worshiping NASCAR’

(WCYB-TV)

A Church Hill woman is accused of attempted first degree murder after police say she tried to kill her husband with a kitchen knife after accusing him of “worshiping” the NASCAR race at Bristol.

The victim told Church Hill police his wife, Stephanie Hamman, crashed her vehicle through the walls of Providence Church. He told officers when he went to check on his wife, he found her lying in front of the altar. As the man checked on her, he says she stated, “The devil is in me,” and stabbed him on the right side of his chest with a large kitchen knife.

Full story (WCYB-TV of Kingsport, Tenn.)

OF COURSE it’s Florida: Zoning board member gives Nazi salute at planning meeting

(Screenshot by Palm Beach Post)

Marcia Radosevich gave the Nazi dictator’s one-armed salute and said “Heil Hitler” while the board was discussing the powers of village staff members during the monthly Planning, Zoning & Adjustment Board meeting March 5.

Full story (Palm Beach Post)

Police Blotter of the Day: Suspect eats hundreds of dollars in cash

Leosvel Cordova Parrado (Monroe County Sheriff’s Office)

In — where else? — Florida:

The victim told deputies they were at a party earlier and Parrado became angry and demanded they return home. She said once they were at home, he pushed her around in their residence and the two of them struggled over her wallet, which he took from her by force. The wallet contained $750 in cash. …

Parrado was handcuffed and placed in a patrol car. As Sgt. Slough was driving to the detention center in Marathon, he heard a strange noise in the back of his car. When he looked in his rearview mirror, he saw Parrado with his mouth full of cash. He was literally chewing — and choking on — the cash he had stolen from his girlfriend.

Sgt. Slough pulled over and attempted to recover the money Parrado was eating, but when he counted the remaining cash he found $277 missing from the whole amount the girlfriend said he stole. Some of the money was found in his underwear and deputies think that is where he hid it prior to eating it.

Full police statement.