Follow-up Nov. 19: The enterprising promoter behind this pitch wrote back today — not to complain about this post, but to “briefly followup” (noun as a verb from the original) to see whether I was still interested in the story. As a sweetener, he offered “fun behind-the-scenes photos and video outtakes of Morris being his adorably orange tabby cat self.”
Rule No. 59: Real-world values rarely increase “exponentially.” It just sounds cooler than “a lot.”
Rule No. 58: A public official is always “beleaguered” if anyone has said anything negative about him or her in the past two weeks.
Rule No. 57: Adding “-gate” to a noun means we think something’s fishy here but no one’s been convicted yet.